There’s a commercial you’ve probably seen. It involves a toasted breakfast pastry and a supremely creepy Hitler Youth poster child: blonde hair, empty blue eyes, and the power to draw woodland creatures to the window of your breakfast nook. Occasionally, he can fly. No one in the commercial takes it amiss that this beast has invaded their home and is forcing pastries on their unsuspecting children. Does no one remember fairy tales anymore? Surely, if we aren’t supposed to take candy from strangers, then flying jelly filled breakfast confections from lederhosen-clad goblins should be a “KILL IT WITH FIRE” situation.
At the end of these commercials, I expect Malcolm McDowell to say, “And they were never seen again.”