Introvert at a Party


Parties are really great.  People come over.  Sh*t gets loud.  There are jokes, insults, fake fights, real fights, good music, bad music, bad dancing, more bad dancing, that one obnoxious person that you always regret inviting when they’re in the other room but find them delightful when you’re swing dancing with them in the dining room, food, more food, still more food, drinking, and miscellaneous shenanigans.

I like reading at parties.  This bothers people.  They think I’m not having a good time.  People have even thought that I was angry or annoyed and reading was my ‘cold shoulder.’  The fact is, I really enjoy reading, all day, every day.  I know it’s rude, but I would rather read than listen to conversations I can’t contribute to.  That happens around my hubby’s friends a lot.  They’re all musicians, which I get to a degree, but while I was a professional musician (technically), I’m not really a fangirl for it.  A lot of them here are craft beer people, too.  I might have mentioned this before, but I don’t drink beer at all (Buddy has found a couple that I haven’t had to fight gross face for, which is pretty amazing).  In fact, me and alcohol don’t really get along at all.  I am okay with this relationship, though some of my drinkier friends seem to thing I have a problem they need to fix.  Anyway, when the beer folks get together, they start talking about beer.  I don’t know how they do it, but they can spend an hour or more telling acquisition stories (mention Bourbon County to any of them for tales similar to opening night for the latest fandom film), tasting stories, and ‘what I’m drinking right now compared to other beers from the same brewery and to other beers of the same style.  It’s basically like finding yourself surrounded by the wrong kind of nerds, which we all understand.  It isn’t always the oh-so-popular Star Wars/Star Trek battle royale portrayed in the movies.  Most of the time, it’s just, “Oh, that’s not something I’m interested in, but I get your geek.”

To bring it back to the point, reading is my jam.  Socializing is not.  I like the noise and I’ll contribute when I hear something interesting.  If I read something interesting (like the most awkward BJ scene I’ve ever read in a book), I will share it with whoever is unfortunate enough to be seated next to me at the time.  I am very self-centered, people.  If I can’t add to the conversation, then I don’t care enough to pay attention.  My mind wanders, I look bored, and turn to my phone.  This is definitely rude.  Worse yet, I try to start conversations of things I’m interested in, usually something I’m reading for school.  How many people do you know who want to discuss how early Irish mythology affects modern culture?  I barely understand that shiz myself, but some of the story bits are fun (Cú Chubaind is one bad*ss mother).

The flip side to all of this is that I really crave attention.  It’s a strange trait for an introvert, but I’m not  full-time loner.  I think if reading could be more of a group activity, meaning everyone is reading quietly in the same room, I’d be down for that.  Honestly, part of the reason I read at parties is because I get attention.  People come over to check on me because I’m sitting alone so must not be having a good time (when in fact I’m having a great time hanging out with my homies on Disc World).  Then we talk, laugh, share some jokes, they are satisfied that I’m not a psychopath and go socialize with others.  I get my dose of human contact and then I can go back to my book.  EVERYBODY WINS!!!

I think this is good for today.  At least it wasn’t about vampires, right?

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15PM000000102011 · 22:26

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