Thursday night, we hosted a game night for English Majors at school. I was super excited. I made cookies and everything. Why was I so excited? Because when I told people I was bringing LotR Trivial Pursuit, they were more excited than when I told them I was bringing cookies. As you can possibly imagine, my cookies don’t often play second fiddle to anything.
It was the first time I had played the game in over six years. And I lost.
My family might recall my childhood as being an unpleasant one for everyone else because I was a particularly bad loser. It got to the point where I couldn’t play any games at all because I was so competitive and yet so bad at them that I always ended up throwing a wild hissy fit and storming off with shrieks of “CHEATERS” echoing into the night. It was never just a game to me. It was life or death and I always lost because everyone hated me and didn’t play so that I could win.
Would you believe that I still have this problem? That there is still a voice in the depths of my soul that makes cruel insinuations about my competitors and elaborate excuses for my own failures? It storms off and slams doors while on the outside, I laugh and cajole and constantly remind myself that playing is more important than winning.
So I was the only one without a partner, I was running on 45 min of sleep, and I haven’t watched the movies in a while. I can’t really be blamed for not being in peak form (except all but one of these factors was completely avoidable). But playing was fun, really fun, because, while they weren’t all über-fans, they had all seen the movies and didn’t need coaching to answer the easy questions. It wasn’t a painful reminder that I was alone in my geekdom like it was the last two times I broke out the game. It was a reminder that I am surrounded by people just as weird as me.
That’s why I’ve never been so happy to lose. Now we need to have another game night so I can have a rematch.