Must be brief. I have an article to write about the Ecology club (which should have been written yesterday, but I didn’t feel like it). And I’m sleepy and need to do some reading (some of which may even be for school) and I don’t want to be up until tomorrow morning trying to catch up with everything because I haven’t been to church in too long.
We did our taxes today and discovered that we didn’t file my ed creds last year, so our return is going to be significantly larger than we expected. So, you know, YAY, and stuff. It will pay for our May trip, upcoming vet visits, replacing the phones and toothbrushes (we take our dental hygiene very seriously). Other plans will have to be made after we know more about this PCS stuff.
After taxes, we went to Richmond for a beer release, ran into some friends and ended up getting a very late lunch (linner? dunch?) at a BBQ place (Extra Billy’s). The ribs were off the chain, as the kids say.
So now I have to tell my boss that I won’t be there for the second biggest holiday for the franchise. And I have a growing fantasy that I won’t be back. I’ve been working there for 18 months. I should be able to do every job without question. I should be completely confident in everything I do. I should feel competent enough to ask for a raise or at least a key to the shop. And I’m not. I’m anxious, I make mistakes, I get flustered, I get angry and frustrated, and I feel useless. And the injustice of it all is that I am not given the chance to be incompetent. I have inconsistent training and a boss who assumes I’m going to screw up and so literally looks over my shoulder until I do make a mistake.
And, unfortunately, everyone is trying to quit at the same time. If it was just her, I’d be gone without looking back. But the other half of the boss is her husband, who is not a bad guy (he officiated our wedding, after all). And I have a need to please people, even if I hate them. And there’s a stigma attached to not working, so quitting a job without having another lined up is abhorrent to me. Makes it tricky to quit a perfectly good job just because I occasionally have the urge to murder, I mean, disagree with my boss.
I’m looking at remote internships for the summer. Just need to get my cover letter squared away so I can start applying to publishing houses. If you need an editor, send me your stuff. My rates are…reasonable.