How We Know Humans are Closely Related to Canines: A Feline Perspective


It was one of those amazing days where we actually managed everything we set out to do, and with less hassle than expected.

Normally, we sleep in too late to get a good start, make sacrifices in our plans, do the wrong things in the wrong order, get super frustrated because nothing is working how it should, everything is taking twice as long as it should, and we are really tired.

We did sleep in today, maybe half an hour later than planned, but I knew in my heart of hearts that there was no way we were getting out of bed before 10am after getting home as late as we did.  I was also not so optimistic to believe that we could somehow find the plants we needed and finish the flower bed before having to leave for the 11am showing of Amazing Spiderman 2 (the only matinée we could catch and still make the 2pm baby shower).  I will review the movie tomorrow.

We were out of the house a little late, but we made the movie, only missing a couple of previews.  It was really crowded, which I found unusual, but maybe they were just the early-church crowd.  There were also a lot of atypical viewers for a comic book movie, but I guess Jamie Foxx can be a big draw for a wide variety of genres.

After the movie, we had lunch at Schlotzsky’s, which was only a minor mistake since we didn’t know what the food situation would be at the shower.  Baby showers tend to be light snack affairs, but they also tend to be for ‘just the ladies’ and don’t include a beer cooler.  There were no silly games like chugging juice out of baby bottles or guessing the circumference of the mother’s belly (so rude).  It was just peeps hanging out, eating a lot more food than I was expecting, and watching the parents open presents.  Kind of a nice change from the exclusionary norm.

Anyway, we left a little early so we could switch cars and start the long, arduous hunt for purple fountain grass.  It was the last plant we needed and it wasn’t at the two Lowes we stopped at yesterday.  Instead of going to even more corporate-owned stores, I suggested we might try one of the many garden stores I’ve driven passed and never stepped in.  They would undoubtedly be more expensive and the hunt might involve more stops, but it was better than ranging further from home just because their website says they have it.

I was wary about the first stop because it looked a bit kitschy and small, like maybe it only sold house plants and not-really-humorous lawn decor.  But, lo and behold, they had two varieties of exactly what we needed.  Mission accomplished in half an hour.

I was absurdly that we ended up doing the work in the afternoon.  It was quite warm today, but when we got started, it was after 5pm and the house put the flower bed in shade so it was pleasantly cool.  Here are the results of today’s labor:

Flower Bed 1.1 Flower Bed 1.2Firework Dianthus Pincushion Flower

It looks a little sparse right now, but the grasses should grow a couple feet and we planted a couple of juniper bushes to camouflage the drain pipe (such a necessary eyesore).  It took two and a half hours to plant all of those and if any of them die, I will cry and possibly burn the rest of them out of spite (the Salvia flowers we planted around the trees didn’t make it, though the marigolds and purple crawlers are thriving).

Anyway, as we were planting, our cats watched us from the front windows and this is the conversation I’m certain they had.

Freckles (our 6-year-old female DSH):  Look at them.  Disgusting.

Ninja (our 1-year-old male DSH):  Are they deliberately getting dirty?

Freckles:  It’s just like I’m always saying to the doctoral review board.  This type of behavior proves my theory that humans are closely related to dogs.

Ninja:  I mean, I’ll walk in the grass a bit if I get a chance, but they’re (shudder) digging in the dirt.  With they’re paws!

Freckles:  It explains everything.  Their inability to understand simple commands.  Their instinct to hide food in cupboards.  Their incessant need for affection.  If I had a treat for every time one of them manhandled me, I’d be a fat cat indeed.

Ninja:  And now their filling the holes with plants.  They haven’t fed us yet and they’re playing with plants.  Didn’t they just dig up plants from there the other day?  Are they just crazy?

Freckles:  Yes, young one.  They are just crazy.  But until the review board starts listening to me and funds my research, our brethren will never take this behavior seriously.  Now come on.  As long as they’re out there we should leave something smelly in the litter box and open a half-dozen cupboards.  Given time, they might take to the training.  Bast willing, it will be before we have to resort to anything serious.

Sexy Ninja

Darth Sashimi Morimoto, Ninja for short

Twisty Freckles

Madame Freckles von Doorclimber, Freckles for short

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15AM000000122011 · 00:50

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