So this is how our post-movie conversation went:
About 20 min of “Michael Bay has murdered my childhood.”
5 min interest in the new Dracula Untold movie.
Which transitioned to another 5 about Gary Oldman Dracula (added history to the origins gave the character depth) and Gerard Butler Dracula (um…interesting, but he’s a little too Scottish to be Judas…nice hair, though).
Then there was the paradox of Benedict Cumberbatch, who is gorgeous as Sherlock with his hair and his collar, impressively demented as KHAAAAAN, and murderously vicious as the voice of Smaug. Yet in all the ComicCon photos, where he is smiling excitedly with fans and mugging with Smaug Lego statues, he looks…like…a fanboy at ComicCon. Not even British attractive.
Which led to why all-tooth-smile is the only prerequisite for epic evil villain roles, Tom Hiddleston and Michael Fassbender being the premier examples.
You may think you have seen Fassbender’s scary smile, but you haven’t until you’ve seen him genuinely excited, like when he was on Top Gear.
We are convinced that he has more teeth than anyone else on the planet. He’s got, like 45. The extra one is hidden behind his ear.
Then Buddy proposed a horror movie called The Tooth Fairy, starring Michael Fassbender, which we would use to frighten our children into obedience (or therapy).
He takes your teeth and adds them to his own.
Good luck getting to sleep, faithful readers.