Tag Archives: Excuses

It’s the Little Things


Nothing is ever gained by reading the comments.

I’d like that inscribed my gravestone. Or on the plaque marking the tree growing out of my remains.

It never fails. Read an inspiring article or personal account or harrowing experience, maybe something I relate to on a deeply personal level. Feel validated or vindicated. This person gets it. I’m not alone in this thought or philosophy or experience. Just don’t read the comments.

Don’t do it.

You’ll regret it.

Well, the ones I can see are all positive so maybe I’ll just scroll down a little…

Damnit. I hate people.

It’s not just the Trolls. Those are easy to pick out. Look at me! Making libtards/snowflakes/sjws/whatever fight me in the comments is the only way my tiny dick gets hard. NOT ALL MEN! WHOO!

The non sequiturs are annoying. I didn’t read the post, but I fully agree/disagree for a long paragraph that has nothing to do with anything. Please validate me because the cats don’t cuddle me as much as I thought they would.

It’s tragic that you lost your baby months before it was born, but we prayed really hard and our friend’s daughter didn’t have a Down Syndrome baby so it’s a good thing they didn’t abort.

The “I support you but not how you express yourself/protest” comments.

The “that’s not how I handled a dissimilar situation” comments.

The “My story is so much worse, let me prove it” comments.

I think, after much consideration, the worst comments are Dismissives.

Yes, it is awful that some stranger harassed you on the subway and women face this blatant disrespect EVERY DAY, but get over it because there are starving children in China. I hope you’re happy that we don’t live in a country were female genitals are ritually mutilated and you’re allowed to leave your house without a male escort.

I’m sorry that your rapist went unpunished, but there is an island of trash in the Pacific and 16 species of bee went extinct in the last ten minutes. So, you know, get over it.

Ok, yes. There are a lot of problems in the world, but how exactly does pointing that out help? Does snidely tacking on #firstworldproblems when people are harassed or bullied or triggered make anything better?

It’s such a little issue in the grand scheme of things, why did you waste the time to complain?

Well I say, eff that jazz. When you’re hurting, you may think it helps to remember that others have it worse. Well, it doesn’t. Your pain is unique to you, there’s no scale you have to measure up to before you qualify to feel pain or anger or fear. “You must be this traumatized to ride the Shitty Life Roller Coaster.” Bull. Shit.

We are all trying to get by. I’m trying to save the planet by ditching straws and buying package-free products and recycling bottles and paper scraps even though I know I can never make up for the sheer magnitude of 100 years of industrial waste. And everything I do to help the environment is usually just as bad as not helping. (Like buying a hybrid or electric car to reduce my carbon footprint only to find that building and shipping that car caused so much pollution that I’d have to drive it for 1000 years just to break even.)

I’m hoping to raise my son to treat all people with respect, even while judges refuse to hold grown men accountable for raping preteens because they took money from him so they were the aggressors. And women saying it’s better to thank a catcaller because ignoring them can cause escalation from friendly flirtation to murder, even though catcalling is totally harmless. And people are more pissed off about aborting dead babies and kneeling athletes than black kids being shot for wearing hoodies.

How am I supposed to protect my son from toxic masculinity if you think it’s what bought him his freedom? How do I explain Conversion Therapy and 22 veteran suicides a day? How much damage will I have to undo when you tell him that boys don’t cry? Don’t be a pussy. That’s gay. Man up. Remember, son, your problems are insignificant, so stop bitching and go chop some wood and threaten to rape a girl because she’s playing a video game.

How about instead of telling a girl that a random stranger yelling that he’d totally fuck her is a compliment, we tell boys that catcalls are a threat? And asking for a hug is a subtle way of reminding women that if you wanted to, you could rape her behind a dumpster and leave her for dead because you have great swim times.

To return to my point, it is an ugly world out there. But we aren’t going to fix it by pointing at the ugly and yelling at people to get over their issues. If we don’t fix the little problems, we’re screwed.

To quote the late great, Aretha Franklin: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

That means you don’t treat people like things. Even if you disagree with their politics. Even if you feel attracted to them. Even if you can’t see their faces. Stop responding to criticism with insults. Stop adding to their suffering to make yourself feel more important or righteous. Stop blaming victims for their abuse. Just stop being assholes. Don’t be a pretentious twat waffle. Why is that so hard?

Maybe if we start respecting people again, we can start respecting other things.

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Acceptable Excuses


Every morning, when I get up to feed the cats and go for my walk, I argue with the excuses.  I have a very long list of excuses that try to convince me that they are reasonable.  It looks like rain.  You stayed up too late last night.  It’s okay to miss one day.  You are just too tired.  The bed is so soft and warm.  It’s chilly out there.  It’s too hot.  You slept in too late.  You just don’t feel like it.  Who cares?  No one will know but you and Buddy, and he won’t judge you.  You never say anything when he skips a work out.  It’s not like you’re fat or anything.  You don’t really need to work out.  You’re not like all those other people out there with their Wal-Mart and their fast food.  You can always start exercising when you actually start gaining weight, which is what all of them should have done.  I mean, how do they let themselves get that unhealthy before they decide to do something about it?

My mind is not especially charitable at 6 am.  Actually, I can be a right b*tch first thing in the morning.  After coffee, I can feel ashamed for such thoughtlessness and I can remind myself that I am not magically immune to all the traps that can lead to unhealthy decisions and behaviors.  If I was immune to anything, I wouldn’t have to argue with that niggling little voice every morning, would I?

I have made an agreement with myself concerning excuses.  There are 3 acceptable excuses.  It must be raining, not sprinkling or threatening rain.  Thunder and lightning are a plus.  OR it must be less than 45°F outside, though I may change that after I take a walk at that temp.  I know running would keep me warm enough for that temp to be manageable, but walking doesn’t warm me up nearly as much as running.  OR I have a migraine.  Sunlight and sweating will only exacerbate it and migraines are hard enough to get rid of without annoying them.

Yesterday, I woke up to a railroad spike being driven through the top of my skull.  It was about an hour before my normal wake up time, so I took some meds to hopefully kill the bugger before I had to go walk.  When my alarm went off, it was still there, trying to push my brain out through my ears.  So I went back to bed and didn’t get up until 11 am.  Yeah, I know.  But Buddy had the morning off and it was hard to leave him when I was just so comfortable.  I spent the rest of the day lazing on the couch, reading and watching Doctor Who.  I rewarded myself for that super lazy day with no chocolate and a glass of wine with dinner.  And then I stayed up until 3 am because apparently I can’t simply stop watching David Tennant’s last episode.  As they say, it hit me in the feels.

This morning, I got up and fed the cats almost an hour late (sorry kitties).  Then the excuses started their roll call.  I know myself.  If I give into the excuse once, it’s that much easier to give in again.  I like rules.  I need rules.  If I sleep in, there is no way I’m going to work out later.  If I skip one day for a petty reason, then I’ll need herculean determination to get put of bed the next morning.  As Mad-Eye would say, “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”

I will lose this battle occasionally.  I’m human.  I am weak and lazy.  That’s why I need bribery and cajoling and name calling to get me going.  I won this morning.  You’re already standing, you know.  You can always take a nap afterward, like you normally do.  Stop being so lazy, unless you want to become fat.  Fat and ugly and unloved and undeserving.  Like I said.  I can be pretty nasty before coffee.

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