Not Sleeping


This is me trying to sleep.

Okay, got my sleep mask.  Got my water.  Got my knee pillow.  It is all dark and cozy.  Just need to close my eyes and let nature work.

Brain:  HEY WHAT’S UP WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU!!!!!

Me: Oh, hey, Brain.  Yeah, it’s been a long day so it’s time to shut down.  Tell me all about it tomorrow.

Brain:  OKAY JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO RECAP ALL THE THINGS YOU SAW/READ/SAID/THOUGHT TODAY AND MAYBE RUN SOME STORY IDEAS BY YOU AND THEN DWELL ON ALL THE MISTAKES YOU’VE MADE IN A DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF…

Me:  No, seriously, Brain.  I need to sleep.  I have a lot to do tomorrow…

Brain:  SPEAKING OF WHICH HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO CUZ SERIOUSLY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER ALL OF THE DETAILS AND PLANS DOWN TO THE MINUTE EVEN THOUGH YOU KIND OF WANT TO PLAY IT BY EAR AND ALSO HERE ARE A BUNCH OF WAYS IT COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG AND YOU KNOW IT WILL GO WRONG IF YOU DON’T OBSESS OVER EVERY LITTLE THING…

Me:  Could you just stop yelling for a minute?  I think I’m getting a migraine…

Brain:  OH RIGHT BECAUSE YOU DID ALL THAT SWEATY WALKING TODAY AND I DIDN’T ONCE TELL YOU TO DRINK WATER BUT I DID INVITE THE MIGRAINE GNOMES TO START DRILLING ON YOUR CRANIUM AFTER YOU HAD LAY DOWN SO YOU WOULD HAVE TO GET UP AND CRAWL OVER BUDDY TO GET YOUR MIGRAINE PILLS IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT FOR DOING ANY KIND OF OUTDOOR ACTIVITY HEY YOU REMEMBER ALL THOSE CEREMONIES YOU USED TO DO WHICH REMINDS ME OF ALL THE ARMY STUFF I LOVE REMEMBERING THE ARMY STUFF OH AND DON’T FORGET TO BE SAD BECAUSE YOU’RE HEADING HOME SOON AND YOU REALLY NEED TO START LOOKING FOR JOBS AND WHY HAVEN’T YOU HAD ANY BABIES YET AND…

Me:  What?!?  Could you just calm down–

Brain:  HERE’S SOME MORE STORY IDEAS SINCE YOU ARE SO FAR AWAY FROM ANY WRITING UTENSIL THIS IS REALLY GREAT STUFF SO I HOPE YOU REMEMBER IT OH AND DO YOU WANT TO DO A RECAP OF ALL YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS BECAUSE I CAN DWELL ON ALL KINDS OF USELESS STUFF FOR SIMPLY HOURS AND HEY WHAT IF YOU AREN’T A GOOD MOTHER OR CAN’T FIND A JOB OR THE PLANE BLOWS UP OR HIS PLANE BLOWS UP OR THE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS OR ZOMBIES…

Me:  HEY LOOK!  SUDOKU!!!

Brain:  ooo feeling drowsy think i can sleeeeee–  HEY WHY’D YOU TURN IT OFF THIS BED IS UNCOMFORTABLE HOW DOES HE ALWAYS SLEEP SO WELL I’M GONNA MISS HIM I MISS THE CATS BET THEY ARE ACTING LIKE BRATS OH YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO MOW THE LAWN WHEN YOU GET HOME…

Me:  Sigh.

Brain:  OH WHAT WAS THAT ANNOYING SONG YOU HAD STUCK IN YOUR HEAD IT WENT AWAY A COUPLE DAYS AGO BUT I BET IF I JUST THINK FOR A MOMENT THERE IT IS TOO BAD YOU DON’T KNOW ALL THE WORDS CUZ THAT MEANS I JUST HAVE TO REPEAT THE REALLY LAME CHORUS GOOD LUCK DROWNING OUT BRATTY POP MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!

 

Later that evening:

Subconscious:  Hey, Brain!  Are you sleeping?  Ever wonder what would happen if Big Bang Theory and Walking Dead combined?  Let’s find out.  In the form of Pins.  MWAHAHAHA!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

15PM00000012011 · 13:41

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s